You've Got A New Friend!

Adult friendships and more.

Hi, hello, welcome to my newsletter! If you know me, you would know I overshare, and “I Blabber” will do the same. 

It’s four hours into midnight that I am writing this. You will probably receive this tomorrow evening. Have we all not grown up too fast, and we’re racing against time too fast? I just saw a Snapchat Memory from four years ago, when I was on a drive with my girlfriends. One of us had broken up and the other two were out to cheer her up with ice cream. We lived merely 15 minutes away from each other and met almost every day. Adulting hit us, and we don’t know how we transitioned from that to being cities away and living lives that don’t let us breathe.

I have three girlfriends, all of whom are different personalities, different people, and different stories, I don’t remember how I picked them up and how we ended up becoming friends? Although honestly, everything would suck without them. We send calendar invites for video calls, even after which one of us doesn’t show up. I also know, that if I call them at 3 am, they will pick it up and they’ll be drunk, lying in a man’s arm that they won’t remember the next day and they’ll say to me, ”Hi, I love you, are you okay?” I just know that my safety net is there, even when I can’t see it.

Anyway, I went out for a whole weekend, after forever. I like to stay in mostly, but I met people for lunches and dinners and for night stays, and I realised that my social energy has a bar now? It wasn’t the case a couple of years ago. I was meeting around 50 people every day, I was interacting, talking, going out, and all that made me happy. However, now I have become so comfortable in my personal space that if I am hanging out with you, know that you really are important to me.

As humans, we’re constantly changing and We’ve started to value personal space and personal growth as we’re growing. We’re all a little selfish now, for our own careers and life. Friendships and friends have shuffled down the priority list and people who understand the precedence phenomenon are moving forward with us. We’ve just been extremely occupied in our own selves- personal growth, personal brand, personal space and so much more. Everything is suddenly rather personal? It sounds quite selfish, I know, but this is how fast the world is running. This has left me with two recurring thoughts-

1. Why is everything like a war of “who is the asshole this week”? Because we have no idea why we’re constantly fighting, and as soon as we see each other, we melt into each other’s arms and kiss and it’s all okay apparently. What are we really mad about all the time? We’re just scared to be apart, scared to miss out on lives, scared that there will be a part of the other person we don’t know. Scared that one day we will come back and not fit in anymore.

2. We want friendships that are more meaningful. Friendships that understand and grow. Lately, everyone is just hanging out with no connections, it sometimes feels just easier to share with a stranger. So we overshare our traumas and pour everything out, on Bumble, on Clubhouse or on Twitter. But will you really have this person as your bridesmaid/best person? The answer might lie between a “probably not” or a “maybe yes”.

When I was younger, I didn't know how to differentiate between acquaintances and the people I loved. I thought everyone was my friend because I was trying so hard to escape that feeling of loneliness. Eventually, I made peace with it. It’s just a part of who I am. Only then was I able to find my tribe. So on days like today, I am incredibly grateful for the girls in my life (even though we have turned into relatives from dad's side of the family >_<).

Allow me to let you in on a secret; the aforementioned girlfriends aren’t even going to read this. Despite countless threats, innumerable requests and incalculable blackmailing attempts, these friends of mine have failed to read even half a sentence of anything I write. In a way, it would be fair to consider this newsletter a bait which (hopefully) lures them in.

Anyways, you’re my friends now, and from now on I will share everything on my mind with you!!! (and I hope you share it with your friends too)

LINKS THAT I’LL WHATSAPP YOU IF WE WERE FRIENDS : 

1)A Crane wife

2)A letter to my dog

3) Dinner Table Conversations

Until next time,

Janhavi