Love and the little things
On love, kindness and mid-life crisis
Hello Hello
August just slipped away? I left my job, with no plans about what to do next, I talked to hundreds of new people, I got my permanent driver’s license and I started working out regularly to unlock my happy hormones.
To be honest, with so much going on, I'm not sure about anything - work, romance, myself. But the one thing I am is this: I'll survive it all, come what may.
And it finally started to rain? The sky has been unreal lately and I’ve been a fan of it.
In the last few weeks, I've been clinging to small acts of love, care, and kindness shown by people both known and unknown. Here’s a list. A dump? A memory of it. The things people do and make me their fan? admirer? lover? I’m all in for the kindness shown and the love showered, unconditionally, without any expectations in return.
People to hang on to
(Inspired by Mollyburford)
People who put flowers in their hair, their bag and their notebook. I have a friend who gets me flowers every time we meet, they made a notebook for my birthday which has pressed flowers and letters to me.
People who put their hands or feet in between the doors, to hold the lift for strangers. People who notice that you disappeared. People who check up on you regularly. People who compliment without thinking twice. People who sleep on a video call with you when you are anxious or sick. People who tell you to do better and bigger things, constantly. People who believe in you when you don’t believe in yourself. All the women out there, the sisterhood, the constant support, acknowledgement and appreciation.
People who laugh out loud, unapologetically and someone who laughs till their stomach hurts. My sisters and I laugh a lot, and once we start, we just cannot stop. We have fits of laughter, and if we look at each other's faces for even a second, we are in uncontrollable laughter again. People look at us like we are madmen, but trust me, it’s impossible to not laugh.
People who make playlists for you. I was heartbroken and my best friend made a playlist and named it “I wish you don’t have to share your favourite song with the wrong person ever again”
People who make faces at kids in public. Someone who smiles at strangers. Someone who helps the elderly on the streets. Someone who says “I don’t know”, “I need to read more”, or “I was wrong and you’re right”. People who are ready to unlearn and learn and change opinions after knowing better. Someone who knows how to pet a dog and give belly rubs. Someone who pets every animal, everywhere.
People whose fragrance you can identify. People who don't get mad when you respond after a week. People who pick ladybirds on their palms. I had a friend in college, she would pick ladybirds off the ground on her hand and then give them to me. Every time I look at ladybirds, I think of her.
Someone who takes “If we ever stop talking, send me a song” seriously. Someone who sends you a new song every day.
People who listen to you without judgement, no matter how weird, kinky or unconventional things you do and say. Direct communicators. People who are not afraid to speak what they are thinking, they don't keep you guessing if they are mad, they talk and solve.
People who hold their childhood in them, making videos at 3 am and painting their hands purple. My 23yo friend and 21yo sister, in their full senses, decided to paint their hands and make this at 3 am. After a lot of laughs, paint splashes and boomerangs, they decided to frame this and keep it with themselves forever.
Back huggers, side huggers, Huggers. People who put you on the inside of the road. Acts of service, let me do that, let me get you soup, take my jacket. Someone who has seen you ugly cry and kissed your face. Someone on the internet tells you to drink water, take a break, or just smile. People who say bless you to your sneeze. Holding hands.
People who complete your sentences. Shared meme language. Someone who picks up your vocabulary. Someone who takes a walk with you. When someone on the internet, in the park or in the metro, sings for absolute strangers. Friends across the internet. People who share skies, stars and the moon. People who are not afraid to cry. Someone who brings a drink for you when they get one themselves.
Love letters and long emails.I have a box full of “100 reasons Why I love you” tucked in my almirah drawer. I have emails and love letters expressing love to me, I keep them so close to my heart. One of my cousins said she loves me more than her own kids, in the family group!! A boy once wrote a poem for me and it said "She looked like she has been stuck in a month of Sundays long enough to forget what Monday morning feels like.."
People who still believe in Love. People who still love. People who still love you.
I think I really like people. I am all the people I have ever met. On days that make me go “I don’t deserve to be loved, why do people love me?” I go back to the people who love me.
And this reminded me of two pieces I read a while ago. Here you go -
(I hold pieces of literature very close to my heart, they speak volumes about how you feel in very less words.)
A poem by Danusha Laméris on the value of small kindnesses:
"I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs to let you by.
Or how strangers still say “bless you” when someone sneezes, a leftover from the Bubonic plague.
“Don’t die,” we are saying.
And sometimes, when you spill lemons from your grocery bag, someone else will help you pick them up.
Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other.
We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot, and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile at them and for them to smile back.
For the waitress to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder, and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass.
We have so little of each other, now. So far from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here, have my seat,” “Go ahead — you first,” “I like your hat.”
The following piece is by Louise Erdrich
“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, Wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could.”
This was too many feelings for this many words. I will see you again, hopefully soon.
Till then, send me your sky, flowers and happy pictures! You know where to find me!
LINKS THAT I’LL WHATSAPP YOU IF WE WERE FRIENDS :
(On some days I’m only writing because I know the 5 people who will definitely read this and write back to me.
I love when you write back to me and tell me how you felt, what you liked or what you think can be improved. You can just reply to this or drop a text on any of my socials, I appreciate it so much and I’ll get back to you soon, Promise)
Until next time,
Janhavi 💞
I absolutely loved this!
got teary eyed reading this at 3:45 in the morning so I would say you blabber pretty well Janhavi