I turned 24
It's June, my birthday was two days ago, and the Gemini season, hahaha. Growing up, I started to dislike birthdays so much that I don't even feel like discussing plans. Every time someone mentions birthdays, I want to avoid the conversation. I hate birthdays so much that I have procrastinated writing this for over a month.
My mind keeps repeating, "Kitni jaldi jaldi bade ho gaye na hum?" YJHD completed 10 years, and it stuck with me that I watched that movie forever ago. I turned 24. 24??? 24 is such a big number. Imagine having 24 friends. Imagine being on a flight for 24 hours. Imagine having 24 candles on the cake?? 24 is a lot!!!
I have feelings, a lot of feelings, and this may hit you like a truck like it did to me. It is okay. I'll speak out loud just to try to make sense of it for myself-
I wasn't feeling so old until I discovered that the UN only considers you a youth until you are 24. The typical college age is 18-24. You can get away with "Early 20s are to fuck around" till 24. Remember when we were kids, and 24-year-olds seemed like adults who know the world and have their life sorted?? Such lies, hahaha. I feel like a kid stuck in this fast-moving world. All I want to do is get a house near a beach, sip my Cosmopolitan, and own a small business.
By 24, I was supposed to be ready for marriage. My parents were married at 24, my cousins are married at 24, my cousins were married by 24, and my classmates have kids. And me? When I was 13, I thought I would be too. But look at me now, I cannot even imagine being in a marriage or having kids. I need to live life and not be responsible for people.
I believe we have an irritating tendency to establish subjective timelines and impose them on others, only to judge and belittle those who don't conform. The internet is flooded with countless lists dictating what one should have achieved, abandoned, or attained by the age of 24. Frankly, I find most of it to be utter nonsense. At the end of the day, why do we care so much if someone has travelled internationally or if they know how to use AI or if they save a certain percentage of their paycheck per year? Why do we have this unwavering certainty that our way is the ultimate right way? I suppose what I'm getting at is that I used to attach great importance to meeting all the expectations outlined by others, diligently ticking off every item on their lists. But at a certain point, I realized none of it actually mattered. I've got my own lists now. And the majority of the time I idolize a person online and want to be in the same position as them, I realize how they are different or privileged and had it easier or just come from different backgrounds. Everybody has their own journeys, really.
I like people younger than me now?? It's funny how my crush radar has suddenly started to include age verification. It's like my heart has developed a built-in ID scanner, ensuring that my affections don't wander into inappropriate territory.I have to check age before having a crush? This is so weird. I have started calling people "Kids"?? I am a kid.
Recently, I realized just how long I've been out of school and perhaps how long I've been graduated from college. It's been forever, omg. It is so weird to see everybody I knew at school and college graduate and have no connection anymore. Everybody in my space is a stranger now.
Well, let me tell you, I've also gathered enough life lessons over the past year to fill a library. But hey, don't worry, I won't bore you with all the details. I don't want to talk about them. Just know that I'm navigating through these uncharted waters of adulthood, and it feels like I'm on a rollercoaster without a seatbelt. Life is hurling surprises at me left and right, and I'm just over here like, "Hold on tight, folks, we're in for a wild ride!" I have big things coming for me this year, It’s scary but I am excited! I'm here to embrace the chaos and show life that I can handle whatever it throws at me. Bring it on, universe!
You'll hear from me again soon. Until next time,