Call it quits
I met a couple of friends from college & we realised how one day all of us just decided we wanted to call it Quits & start afresh
When my college ended, the pandemic hit. I was very big on social work and was always out on the streets doing something, or other, so I wanted to do UPSC
So after college, I was preparing for UPSC for two years and I was also working with my dad in the family business. Straight out of college, I had very little understanding of the world and I was very naive, toh theek hai chalo UPSC karte hai.
During that period, my social life was dead, my mental health was fucked, and I realised in therapy how my confidence was gone. As someone who had always been an overachiever, it was a tough blow to face failure for the first time in my life.
I was always snappy and I haven’t been a good friend or a good daughter or a decent sibling in those two years, but everybody around me was always so patient and showed up when they noticed I was going down the spiral. Little work on the side always kept me in routine and busy, but it wasn’t enough.
With a failed attempt and in the middle of preparation for my second, I decided I don’t want to do it anymore. An exam with only 0.1% success rate and an old-age process was not for me. It can’t decide what I’m worth and I need to prioritise my mental health. The person I was becoming was not me, I didn’t want UPSC to become my life. So I just pulled out.
In March 2022, I started looking for a full-time job in the startup ecosystem and preparing for CAT. Because I couldn’t throw this bomb on my parents without figuring out what I wanted to do. My parents have always prioritised education above everything and I knew they will support what I decide. They’ve always been supportive and I’ve never had a pressure to perform from their end. It was always “we love you and we know you can do anything in the world”
So, I knew people because of my background in social work, and a lot of corporates worked with NGOs.
I got three offers within a month of hunting, and I ended up joining a startup above corporate. With my extracurricular experience in college and operations with Dad, I took an HR job, I was their first HR in-house.
It was extremely difficult to transition from that under-confident preparation stage person to a job, where you need to put your foot down every day. But yeah I had people who loved me and were constantly cheering for me and picking me up.
It’s been more than a year since I decided that I wanted to quit and even today people who knew keep asking what happened and why I did it. My trauma response was to just forget I had this whole experience and I don’t even mention it now. Competitive exam preparations are tough, so if you have someone around you who is preparing, or recently quit preparing, ask them if they’re doing okay.
When we are quitting something we made our whole identity and shift to a whole new thing, the pressure is insane. I had no idea what I was doing. People around me told me that they were just confident that I will figure it out.
A few months down the line I realised I don’t want to do this either. HR was not my true calling. I had always been passionate about new experiences, networking with new people, content and marketing, and I decided to pivot my career path. I have learned valuable lessons about self-care, self-discovery, and the importance of aligning my career with my passions and values. It hasn't been an easy journey, but I am proud of the person I am becoming. Life is very unpredictable, but I am learning to embrace the uncertainties and trust the journey of self-discovery. After all, sometimes, calling quits on one path can lead to a fresh start and a new, fulfilling direction in life. So, Now, here I am, writing content and learning new things every day.
Until Next Time,
Janhavi